Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Spinning class


So I am kicking my exercising up a notch since
I am basically the same weight as when Henry
was a month old. I have never been to a spinning
class and figured it was an hour of exercise vs. 30
minutes. I was super nervous that I would look
stupid.....
I got into the class a little bit late. I got onto a bike
and tried to adjust it. The seat was super high.
Finally I got it right and a man comes in about
5 minutes later and says "you are on my bike"
I apologize and he says "Did you really not notice
my water bottle right there?"
"Nope, sorry I didn't"
I am feeling stupid at this point and pick a new
bike(there were 8 others empty in the room)
I then get it adjusted I think but the seat still feels
a little bit high. I am trying to act like I know what
I am doing and I realize that everyone in class has on
bike shorts and cycling shoes. I really stick out I
realize. I continue on. About 15 minutes later I realize
that every part of me that is on the seat is killing. It
continues to get worse and by the end I am dying.
I go up to the instructor after and ask for her help
on adjusting so I am not in so much pain. She tells me
about some cream that is called "Assos" that you rub
on before class, wow. She says she couldn't tell that
I had never been in a spin class before and a few men
pipe in
"I noticed you were waddling all around"
"Your seat looked too hight"
"Your hands were in the wrong place"
I took some Tylenol before I went to bed. I think I
need to get a doughnut to sit on, literally. My whole
bottom feel bruised. Not sure if I will be going back
to that class.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Christmas idea #2 & #3



If you are like most people the "snuggie" is at the
top of your christmas list. This is for anyone who
is unfortunate enough to not have heard of this amazing
concept. The blanket with sleeves. So innovative.
I have been wearing my robe backwards for all of these
years and now I don't have too. Please watch this video
if you haven't already seen it. It even comes with a free
light, wow. It is also great for those of you who have
problems getting your hands out from under your
blanket. It also encourages you to wear this to
sporting events, total fashion statement.
The second item that is a must have for all of
you busy people out there are "Shuffles" It is a
mop on a shoe. It says that the family fights over
who gets to wear the shuffles. They walk around
wearing these with bare feet even. It looks as if they
are having the time of their lives dancing around
and cleaning. Somehow their little kids are
entertained with something else and not interested
in grabbing these and putting them in their mouth, so put
that worry aside. You can thank me later.
Merry Christmas.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Christmas gift idea #1



If you have been looking for a cologne that smells
like meat your needs have finally been met.
Burger King recently came up with a cologne
appropriately named "Flame" It is described as
smelling like seduction with a hint of broiled meat.
Getting excited already aren't you. If you go to the site
below it goes through a series of seductive and
romantic images. My favorite being the king
himself on a bear rug, barely covered up with a small
blanket in front of a fire.


http://www.firemeetsdesire.com/


The best news is that it is only $3.99, I know, I cannot
believe it either.

Here are a few of the reviews I have found

"I received FLAME as a gift. I sprayed 2 sprays on before I left for work one morning. As I walked into my place of work ALL the women from the Customer Service flocked around me wanting to eat me. They were licking me like they lick the juice from the Whopper. Wanting to devour me. I had to scream for help. My boss came and had to beat them off me. As all the ladies went back to their desk they couldn't seem to control themselves. Luckily I got out of there alive. My boss advised me not to wear that cologne to work again. Later that day as I went out to do my work, going from house to house...ladies were wanting attacking me like vampires. I got HUGE tips (not just money)through out the day just for wearing this cologne. THANK BK!"


"At first I was a little wary of your product, I mean, I've tried other things to help maintain my "chick magnet" status, such as the infamous "wolf sweater" or maybe just a pair of hot pants, but I really was missing the ultimate compliment to my attire, the Whopper Flame. Now the ladies literally want to eat me, literally....if only they had the fry vat body spray as I'm tired of wearing 5 hour old "Big Mac special sauce deodorant" wearing off and smelling like milk left in the sun for 3 days. It's folks who create stuff like this that are the "real men of genius.""

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Christmas work party

David's work party was last night and we were
a little worried because we were told we could
not wear any denim. Denim is my basic "go to"
for any formal event. I have a great denim
jumper that always seems to steer me in the right
direction. I found as I searched online a denim
wedding dress, who knew. I included the photo below.
If only I had researched that before my wedding.

This is the type of dress I was hoping
to wear to the party.

David just loves these "napkins with a tie"
They are the "2 birds with 1 stone idea" He
felt that sometimes the Tuxedo t-shirt was a
little bit too dressy so this is the perfect alternative.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Week in review

This past week has been pretty good. It started
out bad last Wednesday when I woke up and went
to the gym to find a sign on the door that read
"this location is now closed" I am in mourning
still and have since found a new, and not as nice
gym.

I have a habit of looking for split ends while
watching tv, sitting at stop lights, etc. The other
night I was in the kitchen and I found the most
amazing split hair ever. I counted it had at least
12 splits in it. The picture does not do it justice.
You need to enlarge to appreciate it.

I then got gas for $1.35 per gal.

My sister Linda came in town for the weekend
to celebrate my parents farewell for their
mission to Tonga for the next 18 months.

The whole family went down to Temple Square
to look at the lights and eat dinner. It was a
blizzard all day, and the coldest day of the winter
so far.

We decorated a beautiful gingerbread house

Attempted to get a cute picture of the kids

Last but certainly not least we have a new member
of the family. Simon made him and his name is
Bob. Simon told me that if you touch his nose
"he will pee, lots of pee"

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Do as i'm doing


While Simon is eating he will often make weird
faces or do dance moves and ask if I can do the
same thing. Last night he lifted up his shirt and
pinched his "nips" and asked me if I can do that
also. I wasn't really in the mood to do it during
dinner, so I said no. I came across this great
picture when I Googled "nipple twisting" I feel
quite unfortunate that I do not know any of these
men, especially the man in the front.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

indecent exposure, dog, kids, ice cream

When I was at the gym I went into the locker
room to weigh myself. There is a blow dryer
attached to the wall about 15" from the scale.
When I walked in a lady was blow drying her
hair and all she had on were a pair of underwear.
I didn't quite know what to do so I went into the
bathroom to figure it out. I decided since she was
fine with wearing nothing then I would have to
be fine with it. I proceeded to the scale, acting
as if I didn't even notice. She finished with blow
drying her hair as I stepped off the scale and she
almost ran into me, thankfully not. Bad part...
still no weight loss. I then came home to this

Ruth and Mary were dressed up for Christmas.
Simon was dressed up as a Christmas ninja.

That is a bag around my dog Mary's neck. The
tissue paper was put in place to make it look even
nicer. Then it was off to music class. Today was
parents day so David and I were able to go and
see Charlotte dance. Grandma Stoker came over
to be with Simon and Henry so that was very
nice. The cute little lady below is 85 and her name
is Ruby. She hugs all of the girls and tells them
how much she loves them, she is adorable.



Below is my beautiful daughter
getting in a good pickin. Yep, that
is the same daughter who also
just pooped on my front lawn.

Showing off her moves
We then took Simon to preschool and Charlotte
caught the bus. We ran some errands and then
Charlotte had a dance thing at school so we went
to watch.
Henry was trying to participate

We then went and picked up Simon from
school, dropped Henry off at my parents and went
to see "Santa vs. the snowman" at the Imax
theater.
Afterwards we went to see Santa, while hoping
our house wasn't being robbed like it was last year
while we were seing Santa. The kids got cool
reindeer hats as a souvenir.

I had to bribe Charlotte with an ice cream cone
to sit on Santa's lap. She was super freaked out.
Really, had to bribe my kid to sit on Santa's lap,
she has a tough life.

While the kids were eating their ice cream I
asked Simon if he had a great day and he said
"no, I have had a sad day"
Wow!

Monday, December 8, 2008

Kids yoga


Today Charlotte's bus rode right past our house
so I had to hurry and pack up the kids to get her
to school. We were a couple of minutes late and
when I arrived the teacher had all of the kids on
the rug doing yoga. Charlotte doesn't really tell
me much about school so I had no idea she was
doing yoga at school. I think I may start taking the
bus with her and get in a daily yoga session.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Gym commercials

So I mentioned the Obama coin commercial
at the gym in my last post. Below is a link if you
want to own this little beauty. I have ordered
one and plan to put it in my curio cabinet next
to my doll collection.
https://www.obamacoins.tv/flare/next?tag=EDSMGOTM



I decided that I must be missing out on some
really great commericals at the gym so today I
tried to pay closer attention. Luckily I did because
I have been stumped on what to get Davey for Christmas.
The perfect gift came up....The micro force razor.
It is smaller than a credit card, and the best part is
you can shave while swimming underwater. Dave
is always at the pool and has such a hard time finding
the time to shave because of it, so the solution is
simple. They actually show a guy swimming under
water and shaving.



Thursday, December 4, 2008

The gym


I usually get to see some entertaining
things at the gym and today was no exception.
I recognize most of the people there because the
same people are there at the same time as me.
Today there was a new guy and I quickly noticed
him. My sister told me about the new Obama
coins that she always sees ads for while at the gym
so I just took glances at the man while hoping to
see the fabulous Obama coins(found out they are
great 24K gold, wow). Anyway, this man looked
to be about 80 years old. I think he was new to the
gym scene because he was wearing a pair of jeans
with a button up shirt that was tucked in and a belt
to complete his gym attire. He seemed to be very picky
about his treadmill, he knew what he needed to
get the most out of his work out time. It was a bit like
Goldilocks the way he proceeded.
Treadmill #1 - Turns it on, scopes it out for 3 seconds
Treadmill #2 - Turns it on, scopes it out for 3 seconds
Treadmill, well you get the point.
Treadmill #9 proved to be the winner for the day. He
turns it on, gets all of the settings perfect, sets the speed
to 5 MPH and then tucks his hands into his pockets. Why
have I never thought to tuck my hands into my pockets
while working out, great idea though.
My mom makes really loud puffing sounds through her mouth
and shoots her hands into the air one at a time which
I think must really help the workout.

Just for a laugh you need to watch the link below
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H62VUclX6mI
Even if you do not watch Amazing Race you should
find the humor in this guys coordination skills. He compares
military marching to the ballet.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Gluttonous


Today I took my kids to Target and on the way
I saw 3 dead deer and 1 dead bird. Next to the
Target is a frozen yogurt place called "Red mango"
I had never been there before so I decided to take
my kids. I got 2 small plain yogurts, one with
strawberries on it. Simon & Charlotte shared and
Henry and I shared. The size small was 4 oz which
was actually really big for a small. If you compare
to other places it is more like a medium size. Anyway,
they also have Medium that is 8 oz and a Large which
is 12 ounces. The large was enormous, especially
when you consider it is always filled up over the top.
I saw a man in the corner reading a book and he had
finished one large and was finishing up his second.
The man working asked him if he was ready for his
other yogurts and continued to make him 2 more
large yogurts with toppings. He took the 2 yogurts
home with him. I cannot imagine how someone can
consume so much food in one sitting.